Are You Lonely?

Are You Lonely? Lucie Kirouac Loneliness can’t be totally eliminated—but you can lessen its effects. Single or married, loneliness is like a hollow feeling that’s an inescapable part of being human, and trying to escape it rarely works. Singles mistakenly believe that this ache can be eliminated. It can’t be, but its effects can be lessened in “constructive “ ways that make it less painful and less frequent. A romantic relationship can’t make it go away completely. (You would be expecting too much.) Instead of running away from loneliness, you can start confronting it—if you are a Christian single—with the help of Jesus Christ. If you don’t know Him, you’ve probably learned that whatever tactics you’ve tried to banish your feelings of alienation haven’t worked very well. Christian singles probably experience unnecessary guilt over this area thinking that a right relationship with God will solve all their problems. You don’t have to be a Christian very long to find out that it’s not the case! God never promised us a problem-free life. He helps and supports us during our struggles. We have to remember that Jesus Himself knew deep numbing loneliness. Nobody could really understand Him or His mission on earth. He was also a single. He was both God and man... When He died on Calvary, He was separated from His Father and the Holy Spirit for the first time in eternity, so He can truly understand our pain. You may feel lonely but you’re never alone because you are indwelt by the Holy Spirit. Experiencing His presence is developed over time. He is in your heart to stay forever. Christianity is a faith that we MATURE IN. It’s wisdom gradually takes root in our lives. Even with a strong relationship with the Holy Spirit, we can still fell lonely. He can reveal to us why, if we ask Him. For example, if you feel shy or fear rejection, He can make you understand why and give you a sense of confidence by convincing you of His STUPENDOUS LOVE for you! We all need to accept responsibility, do our part while praying for God’s help and support. Fear of facing the cause of loneliness won’t make it go away and that’s why so many people remain lonely. We need to reach out to others at the risk of being rebuffed or be accepted. “But with God, all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26 ). Lessening the problem of loneliness and at times—isolation, can be a lifelong process. As we build relationships, we feel and become stronger. We need to remind ourselves that earth isn’t our true home and that once we are with God in heaven, loneliness will no longer exist! Being ALONE and being LONELY are two different things. One can be alone without being lonely and one can be lonely in a crowded room—so it’s A STATE OF MIND. Separation and isolation from human beings can be quite painful. Thinking that we don’t have a friend, one to care for us, that no one is concerned about anything that might happen to us, can give us a very deep sense of SADNESS. David cried out to God in his loneliness, despair and afflictions ( Psalm 25:16 ) and for God’s intervention ( Psalm 25:21 ). For us, as God’s children, the cure is always the same: The comforting fellowship of Christ. He is the friend who “ sticks “ closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24 ) He will never leave us nor forsake us ( Matthew 28:20 ). We cannot ignore those who are lonely because of our busy, full of people—lifestyle. They don’t have the DEEP CONNECTION with others in their lives, that you may have. There could be a number of reasons for this: Perhaps your friend just doesn’t have the family support that you do. Maybe their close friends have moved away. Perhaps life’s circumstances have pulled them away from some of their friendships. Any number of things can happen to anyone at anytime... Don’t think that lonely people aren’t busy enough or that they are “social misfits.” They need to forge a BOND with someone who will be there for them for the long-term. The inability to share their greatest joys and fears with someone who cares about them is what makes people lonely. If you are lonely and admit your loneliness, you should be met with love and support. If no one wants to hear you, shame on them. Lonely people don’t expect you to be there for them 24/7. Include them in your life when you can, and help them CONNECT with others. Call them occasionally. Don’t judge people who admit they are lonely and suffer silently. God created us for relationships, to be social beings and we need to interact with one another. He desired us as His family to fellowship into eternity! It has been established that children who grow-up without love can develop a chronic sense of loneliness and isolation. That STATE OF MIND is very detrimental to our overall well-being. There are ways to cope: Get busy, explore your interests and get involved in things you enjoy that can occupy your mind. Know that you are not alone. Everyone has lonely periods in life. Think of something about yourself that others admire and build on that. Enjoy your “own” company. There is much you can do that’s liberating. Learn to be comfortable with just yourself for company. How about making online friends? Try not to worry. Accept your feelings and you will probably feel better after a while... If you’re persistently lonely for no obvious reason, it could be just a bad day. It could also be a sign of DEPRESSION; something you should talk about whether it’s family, friends or a counselor. The reason I am writing this article is because I’m very familiar with loneliness and isolation. I understand the pain it causes. I pray to the Lord about it so that He will continue sustaining me and better my life circumstances. He intervenes in His own time. Loneliness is often caused by a very DEEP VOID in one’s life, and soul that can never be filled by anything or anybody else other than God who has created us (with that void so that we will call upon Him to restore our relationship with Him). He took upon Himself what separated us from Him: our SIN. He died on the cross to pay our penalty and to free us from eternal condemnation. He rose to join back His beloved Father and prepare a place for us in His presence for eternity! Christ saves us by pure GRACE and LOVE. He is the ultimate gift to humankind. Since a gift must be received, turn to Christ to be forgiven. Invite Him into your heart and be set-free for- ever! I’m pleading with you to help those who desperately need your love, some of your time, and relief from their incredible pain of isolation and loneliness. Lucie who cares! luciekirouac@sogetel.net